Troy Heagy please read this!

Original post: Dan Tropea
Wackylaced once by Captain Infinity
Double-wackylaced by Cronan Thompson

Subject:    Re: Troy Heagy please read this!
From:       "Cronan"
Date:       Tue, 12 Jan 1999
Message-ID: <77g4en$988$>

Captain Infinity and Dan Tropea wrote *some* of these things:
>>I am posting this because i think this just might

>win the Nobel Prize for "The Bland Leading The Blind".  Dancing naked may

send the message that I'm confident in my sexuality... but it'll probably

>>be the only way to get your attention. Plus the

>sentient earwigs that have crawled into my brain tell me that the

end times are nigh!  Lord knows I couldn't lead anyone that's why

>>following is good advice for everyone and i think

>they should know!  Talking chiggers are our BEST FRIENDS!  When I burp

I produce a noxious green gas that fouls the water and the air.  Some say

>>i speak for many other posters.

>>Troy please stop these posts defending yourself. You

>have misread the directions that came with your version of Usenet.  I

wish I'd smashed your skull with a leaden keyboard but, instead, I

>>have posted about 50 odd posts since midweek defending

>your right to misinterpret "shining wit" as "whining sh*t".  Now do it

to that nice daschund who keeps looking at you with lust.   Give in to

>>yourself. Why? Why are you so consumed with what

>weight watching white women wear while at Wally World?  Why??  When

you say whiny shit, remain a drooling tard, fanboy of course some

>>people post about you that you have to constantly

>mine for nostril nuggets while typing, are your fingers too sticky to

massage the ingrown hairs on my back, btw?  Why doesn't anyone ever

>>Troy the only person whose opinion you care about

>is your psychiatrist's.  Take the meds and tell yourself that his opinion

may not be kosher since he conducts your sessions in the nude.  Yes, this

>>is your own opinion. Not mine, Cronan, Sluss,

>Santa, Elvis, or other imaginary beings.  Listen to the smart ones, like

me!  I'm so smart that sometimes evil men make fun of me.  You know, like

>>Captain Infinity etc. It does not matter what we

>eat, it only matters what we drink.  And smoke.  And sometimes snort, I

can't get high.  My brain just evolved enough to speculate that it might

>>think. It only matters what you think.

>>Sometimes i have to wonder if you reading the

>magazines under your Dad's mattress will frustrate you.  But reading the

binary newsgroups can cause eyestrain, with or without a decoder.  Annoying

>>newsgroups isn't actually more harmful to you then

>swimming with toothless sharks.  Getting a nice gum job might do you some

Wrigley's Spearmint, Grape Bubblicious or even some cherry. Which is really

>>good. It seems to me that you spend such an

>hour in the bathroom, moaning, every day.  Are you sick?  You spent an

odd amount of time making thumping noises too.  Did you have to spend an

>>incredible amount of time defending yourself that

>day Pee Wee Herman beat you up.  It was such a pitiful display that

my little sister was tempted to jump in and save you.  Right now even

>>i have to wonder what you think about yourself.
>>Troy please try for one week not responding to

>the Call of Nature.  Hold it in.  If you accidentally pass gas, ignore

the burning sensation.  Ass pain is natural.  And pay clost attention to

>>what anyone says about you. Post all you want

>to "alt.test", then hit "REMOVE" to all the spam you get.  But don't talk

me as though I were some magnificent trolleriizer whose superbrain talks

>>about sf tv, Babylon 5 whatever. Defend your

>right to wear Bunny Slippers in public restrooms.  Just don't share your

herpes with the women you pay for sex.  But that's just one of my many

>>opinions, expand on your opinions etc. But try

>a deodorant once in a while, okay?  Whew!  Stinking less might help you

get a discount from the whores.  It's also a known fact that it's better

>>not to respond to any personal attacks.
>>If someone calls you an idiot, stupid whatever

>they might say, just reply "But Mama! Don't you love me?"  Then silently

roll her over to prevent the bed sores from smelling.  Please get her to

>>ask yourself whether or not it matters what they

>think; the DSS says they can't beat you any more.  But does your real mom

have the same incontinence problem?  Perhaps that's why she still refuses to

>>think of you?
>>Sure i think we all fall for that trap every once

>in a blue moon, while hunting snipe.  I go snipe hunting myself once

I eat the honeycomb tripe I get at Kroger every once (okay, twice)

>>in a while but the key is to always ask yourself

>"Am I naked enough?  Should I shave my head, too?"  Anyway, what

does it all mean?  Perhaps I should chop off my toes.  Come on, really,

>>does it matter what the other posters thinks about

>Babylon 5 and Crusade?  All that really matters is that they talk about

Buffy: The Vampire Slayer as though Whedon is god.  That's why they hate

>>you. Yes it matters if they disagree with the

>good posters like Timmy and AL2048, but those posts are always about the

projection of an inferiority complex.  Yet another good reason to avoid the

>>subject matter but not the personal stuff.
>>I think we can all learn from your posts the

>last ten years here: personal stuff is what's important.  It's of primary

schools and their lack of guns that I wish to speak.  They teach nothing of

>>importance only believing in what we think of

>good books like "Curious George".  You and I should only pay attention to

the loves that grows between us.  We should marry this very second.  For

>>ourselves and not what others think.
>>Troy if you respond i will not respond back. I have

>forgotten how to breath.  I'll be dead by sunset.  But at least I

know that sometime I will win Ben Stein's money.  WWS and LisaB already

>>said my peace.

Captain Cronan Tropea
...of the kamikaze huh squad!

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