From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Blackhawk) Subject: Cronan's unfinished symphony Date: 02 Nov 1999 00:00:00 GMT Message-ID: <email@example.com> Organization: Search for Internet Text-based Intelligence Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.fan.bam,alt.wanted.mars.women I'll probably start some shit storm by posting this, but as TheWitch pointed out, that makes the tribute all the more fitting. I was looking over my own archive (prompted by the Rev. and Cap. re-posting their favorites) when I came across the unfinished piece that appears below. It started during a post back in July where Cap (responding to some MSTie who'd wandered into Servo by mistake) said: > Subject: Re: Why all the clutter? > Date: Tue, 20 Jul 1999 17:56:26 -0400 > > From: Captain Infinity <Infinity@world.std.com> > > I think Blackhawk should do a Cronan parody. Then Cronan could MST it. Cronan wrote me privately to say he was "game" so I got to work. My Cronan parody appeared the next day, July 21, under the title "Underated by hypocrites to make a playground for fools...Ý(was Re: Why all the clutter?)" where it languished without follow-up. Meanwhile Cronan began working on his MSTing. On July 22nd he sent me the opening "Satellite of Love" sequence for my feedback. I returned comments (mostly that I *loved* it without change) and awaited a final version. On August 7th I followed up with him: > > So what happened? > > Dunno. Stopped working on it. > > > Hope your doing OK :) > > I don't like to complain. Which I took to mean it was getting too hard to continue and I let it drop. The opening "Satellite of Love" sequence, while short, was really unique. I think, because of reasons you'll soon see, that Cronan would appreciate my sharing it with you. As far as I know, it's the last MSTing he ever worked on. --------- [Welcome, ladies and gents, to the Satellite. A Usenet cloning experiment gone horribly awry (like one could go any other way) has resulted in the separation of Nanorc and Plain & Simple Cronan from Cronan. Let's see what happens when Cronan is forced to sit with himself.] CRONAN: I'm not speaking to either of you. P&SC & NANORC: Why not? P&SC: It's me who should be pissed... dropped like a hot potato, I was. CRONAN: Nanorc does nothing but bitch and moan and Plain and Simple got boring. Fast. P&SC: You try mixing it up with Denbiem and his stooges and see how interesting you stay! NANORC: And I've got cancer! I'm entitled to bitch and moan. CRONAN: You don't have cancer. I have cancer. You just play someone who has cancer on the Usenet. NANORC: A mere technicality. Belief is 9/10ths of reality. And P&SC did a fair amount of pissing and moaning too. P&SC: That was in the name of justice. CRONAN: That was so you could hear yourself talk. P&SC: Says you. I was righteously indignant at the horrendous treatment I received at the hands of a power mad tinpot dictator and his mindless hirelings for questioning the word of their penny-ante god. CRONAN: You mean you pissed off Jay by being mean to JMS. P&SC: I think you're just upset because I'm the only one here who is a master of plain simplicity. NANORC: Thank god for small favors. [The Satellite begins to shakes; the lights dim and then begin to flash and strobe. A siren begins to wail.] P&SC: Wazzat? CRONAN: Dear lord. It's him. NANORC: Who? CRONAN: Blackhawk. [From a base deep within the Earth comes a vid feed direct to The Satellite. On it appears a giant bird creature and a small ghost.] MORTIS: And me. No one ever remembers to fear my coming. I'm a ghoul, damn it. Fear me. Boo! BLACKHAWK: OH shut up. Hi Cronans. And you too Nanorc. I trust you're not well? [Back on the Satellite] CRONAN: Hissssssssss! Evil! <spit> [Back on Earth] BH: I love you too. Guess what I did? Go ahead guess. You'll never get it in a million years. [Back on the Satellite] P&SC: Laid an egg? NANORC: Became a Mormon? ------------ Even in this last little piece, he was f**king brilliant. *** Blackhawk
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