Something on the news

(Cronan Thompson)

Against my better judgement, I sat down to watch the local news this evening and came across something that made the ceaseless banality worthwhile. There is an Arson/Murder trial on here in Raleigh, NC and it is about as entertaining as anything I have ever seen on TV. The reporters are so clearly excited, having nothing else to report, that a few have actually spit on the cameras in their rush to give the days events. But the testimony in the trial puts the OJ trial to shame. You see, a man is accused of setting his ex-girlfirends house ablaze, killing 3 of her six children. Her kids, the only ones who actually saw him, are the state's primary witnesses and are getting some serious airtime. Today the woman's son, who to all apparences is about 10 or 11 years old, was on the stand and was being cross-examined by he defense attorney. Here is some of the testimony:

"Why don't you tell me what happened son?"
"I don't want to."
"Why, is it because your mom told you what to say?"
"Why then, son?"
"Cuz it ain't none of your damn business."

This was followed by *DEAD* silence. No one seemed to know what to say in response to this brilliant defense. Not only was it not a lie, but in reality I suppose it wasn't. Why it hadn't be been used before is beyond me. What really caused this to stick in my head was the matter-of-fact manner in which he said it and the perplexed look that struck the lawyer. Obviously he was prepared for every response other than the one he got.

That boy has a great future in the law!

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