An Open Letter to Paramount

(Cronan Thompson)

Dear Corporate Oppresors:

As a loyal trekker, I must insist upon a public apology for the smut in your recent release entitled: Star Trek: First Contact. This movie bordered on the pornographic throughout. Picard's "feeling" the predominantly male Borg. The Borg Queen's leather fetish. The Borg walking as though they have perpetual erections. Several penis related jokes were obvious in this movie. Riker's description of the Defiant was an all but a highlighted example of Worf's penis (tough and little).

Another point should made of the use of flesh in this film. None of the women were sufficently covered. All women should wear black dresses no more than one inch above the ankle with faces covered. I am sure that many of your perverted audience found this titilating but it is not appropriate. My wife was shocked and dismayed by the vagrant use of flesh in this movie. She did have minor problems seeing past the He-Man bedsheet she wears on her head at all times, but the little she did see was more than enough. The female body is not a thing of beauty to be looked upon with awe and respect. It should be covered and concealed as much as possible. What if the children of this country grew up with ideas that sex is somehow normal when between two consenting adults?

Please send apology to this Address:
Mr. John Smith
on a street you will never find
somewhere in the USA

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