I Am the Very Model of a Usenet Personality

(Cronan Thompson)


Subject:    I am the very model of a Usenet personality  
Author:     Plain and Simple Cronan <cronan@DeathsDoor.com>
Date:       6 Mar 1998
Message-ID: <6doulm$1kv@camel20.mindspring.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv, rec.arts.startrek.current,
            alt.tv.star-trek.voyager


Silvertree wrote

>>It certainly is by my defintion of civilized.
>
>Webster writes:
>
>Civ-i-lized: characteristic of a state of civilization.
>Civ-i-li-za-tion: A refinement of thoughts, manners, and taste.

: the culture characteristic of a particular time or place

>I'm curious, Cronan. What is your definition of "civilized"?

I think I feel a rhyme coming on(with apologies to G&S):

I am the very model of a usenet personality,
Thanks largely to my knowledge of internet scatology,
I've had insights both logical and factual
On matters esoteric, idiotic and nonsensical;
I'm realtivly knowledgable on subjects philosophical,
(I understand the subtext in relationships sapphostical)
While well aquanited with matters transcendental
I am the only man who is truly plain and simple.

CHORUS:
He is the only man who is truly plain and simple.
He is the only man who is truly plain and simple.
He is the only man who is truly plain and simple.

I'm very well aquainted too with stories of technology,
I've rebutted the preposterous and shown some immaturity,
In short, thanks largely to my knowledge of internet scatology,
I am the very model of a usenet personality.

CHORUS:
In short, thanks largely to his knowledge of internet scatology,
He is the very model of a usenet personality.

I know our mythoclastic history, alt dot slack's and kibology;
I've seen the posts that defy the annotation of abnormal psychology,
I articulate in doublespeak interpretations of the hoi polloi
And decry them with flamboyant, if rhetorical, hyperbole;

I can tell undoubted imbeciles from Eddorian Infinities,
I malign the croaking chorus from ignorant trekkies;
Then I can construct arguments of frightening logical duplicity
Yet I remain the only master of true plain simplicity

CHORUS:
Yet he remains the only master of true plain simplic-ity
Yet he remains the only master of true plain simplic-ity
Yet he remains the only master of true plain simplic-ity

Then I can write a detailed post on the exploits of Gideon,
While telling you the details of the arc on project Babylon:
In short, thanks largely to my knowledge of internet scatology,
I am the very model of a usenet personality.

CHORUS:
In short, thanks largely to my knowledge of internet scatology,
I am the very model of a usenet personality.

The 'civilization' that has developed on the usenet one that adheres to the
principles of Social Darwinism. The superior communities win out over the
lesser ones. The community that exists on news:rec.arts.sf.tv has, for all
intents and purposes flamed, trolled, and otherwise or outdone the herd
mentality found on the Star Trek groups(particularly
news:alt.tv.star-trek.voyager). This is the 'civilization' under whose rules
I have thrived.

Needless to say I have no desire to see it changed and will fight against
attempts to do so.

P&SC
...


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