Cronan's Shit List

(Cronan Thompson)

1. God: If this bastard is out there I want his balls. First and foremost he made me. This is enough to cause quite a few people to doubt his existence in the first place.

2. Fanatics of any variety: They come in many sizes, shapes, and colors, but one fact makes them all similar: they care about what you think only when you think what they think.

3. Uncomfortable shoes: responsible for more suicides than anything else in human history.

4. Catholics: A group totally brainwashed from birth until death under the control of a man with a pointy hat. The most powerful cult in the world.

5. George Lucas, JMS and Gene Roddenberry: Guilty of pre-emptive plagrism. Long before I was born Gene Roddenberry stole my idea for Star Trek. He knew I was going to have it as soon as I was born, so he hurried up and put his version on TV. Lucas stole my ideas a couple of monthes before my birth, creating another one of my ideas, Star Wars. JMS, while I was 13, stole the idea for Babylon 5 straight from my brian using a special transducer.

6. My mother and father: Same reason as god, only they were at least drunk during conception so they have an excuse.

7. The Nation of Islam: A group that claims to be out to help the black community, it is no better than those it attacks in that it is a leech sucking the lifeblood from an already dying community. Its leaders are dishonest, its followers are morally bankrupt and its poltical goals can best described as Nazism with a black twist.

8. Democrats: Because keeping America stupid keeps them liberal, the Democrats are a prime canidate for moving up on my shit list. They have insured that people all across the nation stay dependant on the goverment's teat in order to better control how and what they think and when they are to think it.

9. The Christian Coalition: Nothing is quite as scary as hearing Ralph Reed calmly and rationally explain why America should be a Christian nation. Down right chilling.

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