From: "Plain and Simple Cronan" <email@example.com> Subject: MiSTing B5's "Sleeping in Light" [SPOILERS OF MICE & MEN] Date: 1998/12/04 Message-ID: <firstname.lastname@example.org> Approved: b5mod <email@example.com> Organization: If only you knew Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5.moderated On this solemn occasion... let us riff: [Minbari Starships and White Stars over a planet] Garabaldi: The Interstellar Alliance... [as Stan]"Has plagued our fragile galaxy for long enough. We must end it." Garabaldi: ...was founded in the Earth Year 2261, shortly after the end of Shadow War. "People did crazy things in the '60s." Garabaldi: 20 years ago. 20 years of history. "Coming soon from a franchise near you." Garabaldi: Those of us who have survived... "Are still alive." Garabaldi: And those of us who understand... "Are in the minority." [Sleeping in Light] "And stumbling without the Shadows." Lorien[ghostly]: Step into the abysssss and let gooooo! [mimicking]"Fall dooooown, break your leg and suuuuuuue!" Sheridan: And if I die? "You'll be free, free as a bird!" Lorien: I give of myself to replenish him. "Sort of like Benny Hinn." Lorien: One day he will simply... stop. "Shoulda gone with rechargeables." [Sheridan suddenly wakes from his b&w flashback/dream] [sing]"Misty uncolored memories... of things he never saw." [Sheridan sits up, waking Delenn] Delenn: Are you okay? Sheridan: Yeah, I'm fine. I just need to get a little air. "And a new battery." [Delenn sits up and stares at the camera] [as Delenn]"Do you know if he's okay audience?" [Sheridan is dressed in a billowing brown cape and has a grayish white beard and mustache] "I'm not sure if he's a postmodern Santa or a neo-Moses." Delenn: I decided to go out in search of the same air molecules you were looking for. "We all know how sneaky AIR can be..." "Sure, it'll slip right through your fingers if you're not careful." Sheridan: Oh, you've never had competition. [as Sheridan]"You had them all killed, remember?" Sheridan: I just want to sit here... [Sheridan groans as he sits] [as Sheridan]"And let my diaper handle the rest." Sheridan: I want to know what it looks like when it comes over the horizon. "Like a flaming Frisbee in slow-motion..." Sheridan: It was 20 years ago that I died on Z'ha'Dum. "And 20 episodes since anyone's cared." Sheridan: Lorien said that he could extend my life 20 years, no more. [uncomfortable silence] [whisper]"For those of you just joining us, Delenn is stupid and can't count. We now return you to our story." Sheridan: I'm almost out of time, Delenn. I can feel it in my blood, in my bones. "That gosh darn rhuematiz, always foretelling the end of all that is." Aide: Young people saving the world for those who would follow. "By electing former professional wrestlers." Aide: There's a reception from the new ambassador from Narn, formal dress. [as Aide]"Red panties only... they check." Ivanova: I feel like an old war-horse. "Ready to be made into glue and puppy food." Ivanova: Besides, nobody gives a damn about what I have to say. [as Ivanova]"Sleep with one intern..." Ivanova: And if I hear one more patronizing, pat-on-the-head-and-everything'll-be-fine word out of your mouth I'll kick yer... [Ranger busts in] "Saved from the horrors of profanity once again." Ranger: I have a message. Ivanova: Whom from. Ranger: I think you know. "Zordon? Smokey the Bear? Buzz Lightyear?" [Ivanova looks at the message, then she and the Ranger exchange looks] "Her lips aren't saying anything and her eyes are saying, 'read my lips'." Ivanova: Tell him I'm on my way. Secretary: On your way where? Ivanova: Minbar. "For the opening of ETDisney." [Vir is in bed with two women] Guard: We have just received a courier from Minbar [as Vir]"Unless he brought more KY tell him to go away." [Vir tells the guard to cancel his appointments] Guard: But you didn't even read what the note says. Vir: I don't have to. [as Vir]"It's got the Hallmark." [Garabaldi is smoking a cigar and reading a newspaper] "The excitement builds with each passing moment." [Franklin and cute kid(with pigtails no less) enter carrying tennis rackets] [The kid is all jumpy and happy and energetic] "It's Pippi Longstocking on a caffeine high." Garabaldi: Take it easy on your Uncle Steven. He's old and decrepit. "He's got powdered sugar in his hair." Pippi: Talk is cheap. "Bringing Season 5's total value to $6,238,056.09." Franklin: Where's Lise Garabaldi: Out shopping "You know how them womenfolk is." Franklin: So you're steady... what's wrong with that? Garabaldi: Steady ain't sexy. "It can be if combined with a gentle counterclockwise motion." Franklin: That's the thing about the chief of xenobiological research... "You get to say neat words like xenobiological." Franklin: ...there's always another new alien virus coming off the next starship. "He's protecting Earth from the scum of the universe." Pippi: Dad, there's someone here to see you. "It's Telly Savalas. He wants his look back." [Ranger swaggers in, hands Garabaldi the message and swaggers out] "Sadly enough, that Ranger's walk has been the most interesting thing so far." Franklin: Is that what I think it is? Garabaldi: Sheridan's dying. "And me without my confetti." Franklin: All right I'll call the office. They can wait. "You'd think, with 20 years to prepare and all, they'd have asked for time off before hand." [Sheridan stares off into the sun with a beatific look of contentment on his face] "That look just screams 'thorazine overdose'." "If he'd sent those messages via singing telegram it would have added some badly needed whimsy to this episode." Franklin: There are just too many variables Sheridan: Steven, get to it. How long have I got? [as Franklin]"...uh x^3?" Franklin: If I had to guess I'd say 4, 5 days. A week at the outside. "That's just enough time to get his dry cleaning done." Franklin: I've done this sort of thing a hundred times and still don't know what to say. "'Don't touch me! You're contagious!'" Franklin: How's Delenn taking it? Sheridan: She's Minbari. Sometimes I look at her and... "...begin to violently convulse." Sheridan: Sometimes she's a complete mystery to me. "Like almost everything else." Sheridan: Oh, there are a million years of difference between our cultures. "He's a little bit of country and she's a little bit of rock'n'roll." "Together they're Garth Brooks." Sheridan: She'll be okay. She's Gray Council in training if not in fact anymore. I don't think there's anything she can't handle. "Being overlord of an elite force of heavily-armed, well-trained fanatics should help her through the rough spots." Delenn: It will be quite a party. Sheridan: Well that's exactly what I want, a celebration. [as Sheridan]"After all, the world will be a better place when I'm not in it." Sheridan: No sad smiles, no struggling for words... [sing]"It's his party and he'll die if he wants to, die if he wants to." "You would die too if Lorien touched you." [Delenn and Sheridan quietly stare into each other's eyes] "It amazes me that golf, as a spectator event, is more interesting than true love." [Sheridan and company are jovially reminiscing] "Ah... the old ignore-reality-and-it'll-ignore-you stratagem." Vir: You know, Londo never liked the Pak'Ma'Ra. I mean they're stubborn, lazy, obnoxious, greedy. Garabaldi: They kinda look like an octopus that got run over by a truck. [Everyone laughs] "Yeah, those people who look different sure are funny, huh?" "Bonding through racism *is* a time honored event." Vir: But if only one of [our gods] exist, then god sings with that voice. "That would make god a stubborn, lazy, obnoxious, greedy, ugly carrion eater, right?" "Very Lovecraftian." Vir: It's funny. "In a distinctly unfunny sort of way." Vir: After everything we have been through, all [Londo] did. I miss him. [Everyone's really quiet and sad looking] "Way to kill the party Vir." Sheridan: A toast; to absent friends... "Wow, from Lovecraft to Rocky Horror..." Sheridan: ...in memory still bright. Garabaldi: G'kar. Vir: Londo. Delenn: Lennier. Franklin: Marc... Ivanova: Marcus. "Alas, they were to interesting to live." "It's been my experience that the best celebrations don't end in roll calls of the dear departed." Delenn: Susan, are you all right? Ivanova: Yeah, I'm fine, I was just... "..taking a dramatic moment." Ivanova: I can't even imagine how you're handling this. Delenn: We have had 20 years to talk about it and prepare. I'm ready. "I'll take that to mean the insurance policy's paid up." Delenn: I'm going to miss him. I'm going to miss him terribly, Susan. Ivanova: So will I. "Really? I would never have guessed with all the weeping and crying and such." Ivanova: I've buried so many friends, Delenn. "One would hope they were dead at the time." Ivanova: I'm beginning to resent it. "Presumably, they were equally upset about the state of affairs." Ivanova: It seems like some days...[pause] [sing]"...are better than others." Ivanova: ...there's no one left to play with. There's no joy anymore. "What she needs is Mentos, fresh and full of life." Ivanova: I don't know what I'm doing anymore or why. [as Ivanova]"It's like I've been replaced with a third-rate substitute." Delenn: When David joined the Rangers we agreed he would not receive any special treatment. "I'm sure being the son of a demigod won't effect his career at all." Delenn: And for David to remember his father as he was. Not. "I guess their grief is so profound completing a thought is beyond them." Delenn: As you know... [as Delenn]"...but I'm going to tell you anyway." Delenn: I will need someone to take his place as the head of the Rangers. I would prefer a human in this role, to maintain the balance we've created. "No need to get those 'other' races involved." Delenn: I was hoping you would consider the job. "There's something a bit off about your dying friend's wife offering you his job in the midst of funeral procession." Delenn: I know you are not happy with your responsibilities back home Here you would have a chance to build something new, answerable only to me. No politics, no bureaucracy. "I suppose nigh absolute power *is* the ultimate pick-me-up." "Fortunately, Delenn only gives it out to her bestest friends." [Another quiet moment as Delenn and Ivanova look at each other] "I've seen uncooked Polish sausage more emotive than either one of them." [Sheridan pops out from behind a corner after Ivanova leaves surprising Delenn] Sheridan: Did you talk to her? [Delenn nods 'yes'] Sheridan: Well, do you think she'll take it? Delenn: I think she might. Where are the others? Sheridan: They're putting Vir to bed. "Oh yeah, the future's in *good* hands." Sheridan: ...which is where we should be. "In bed with Vir?" Sheridan: Do you know what tomorrow is? In Earth time I mean? It's Sunday. [sing]"Just another manic Sunday." Sheridan: When I was kid, every Sunday Dad would take us out for a drive. We never knew where we were going. That was half the fun. [as Sheridan]"The other half was finding our way home." Sheridan: He'd say 'pick a direction' and one of us would point and off we'd go. [as Sheridan]"We found out later dad was on drugs but it didn't matter. He shared." Sheridan: Tomorrow is Sunday, Delenn. And I'm going out for a drive. "I see a killing spree in his immediate future." Delenn: What about the others? [as Sheridan]"Screw those guys, I'm going home." Sheridan: We had our time, we said what we wanted to say. "And I realize I don't really like them." Sheridan: I want to feel space beneath me one last time. "He wants to have sex with Lochley?" "Could be Zack. Old people are weird." Sheridan: Besides, everything we've built here, and with the Alliance, is, has become, half reality and half mythology. "When do we get to see the reality bit?" Sheridan: And if it all ends here, like it ends anywhere else... but if it ends out there they'll remember it. It'll make it a little easier for you to keep the others in line. "Hitler, Stalin... rank amateurs. Sheridan IS Big Brother." Delenn: Always thinking strategy, even now. Sheridan: Well, that's why you love me, isn't it? Delenn: No, there are many reasons but that's not one of them. "Take your uncanny resemblance to Billy Gibbons, for example." Sheridan: One last thing... "Ho Ho Ho." Sheridan: I want it to be a good day, a happy day. "A holiday." Sheridan: I want that. I want it a great deal. Delenn: Then you shall have it. [as Delenn]"Anyone who isn't happy will be shot on sight." [Sheridan is straightening his AOL uniform] "Wha?" "Maybe he's in disguise so Death can't find him." [Sheridan meets Delenn in the hallways, she's wearing a long, white flowing garment] "Not many people can pull off the Jesus look... but her.." Sheridan: It feels a little snug in some places. It must have shrunk in storage. Delenn: Yes, I'm sure that must be it. "That's right, humor the poor man." Delenn: I'm told, by a reasonably reliable source, that today is Sunday on the Earth Calendar. "Idn't dat sweet? She called him 'a reasonably reliable source'." "Love is the ultimate hallucinogen." Delenn: One dresses up on Sunday does one not? "Well, not *as* Jesus. It's considered rude." Delenn: Have you been outside yet? [as Delenn]"Someone forgot to cut the grass. Again." Delenn: The perfect day for a Sunday drive. Sheridan: It is. A perfect day. "I wonder what his excuse for bailing would have been were it Thursday." [Delenn and John hug just accompanied by emotional music] "I think she turned on his Walkman." Sheridan: Goodnight my love. "May a flight of angels wing the to yonder Sunday sale at Sears." Sheridan: The brightest star in my sky. Delenn: Goodnight. And you were my sky. [as Delenn]"Full of hot air!" Delenn: And my sun, and my moon... "Err... I really question the need one-upmanship at moments like this." [Sheridan walks away] "The drama here is obviously too subtle for someone of my years." Sheridan: I was just in the neighborhood, thought I'd stop in. "Got any cheese?" Sheridan: Where is everyone? "Dead or on Minbar... I thought we'd already covered that?" Sheridan: What shutdown crew? "The plans have been available in our office on Alpha Centauri for fifty of your Earth years..." Nils: Oh, sorry, ah, the public announcement hasn't been made yet. I think they're still working on the press release. "I see it as a problem when the head of the Rangers has to rely on ISN for his news." Nils: Earthdome says it's to be decommissioned and taken out. We can't just leave it here, it'd be a menace to navigation. "I think I speak for everyone when I say, 'huh?'" "There's just not enough space in Space?" Sheridan: It looks like we're still tied together even now. "Dying grandiose deaths for the flimsiest of reasons." "Thematically, it's perfect." Nils: You're welcome to inspect the facilities. [as Nils]"I had them cleaned with my own toothbrush!" [Sheridan has another flashback] "Perhaps I'm too young or just tired, but I think the chances of finding out what's going on are absurdly remote." Zack: So you hear them to huh? "They're the voices of mediocrity." Zack: I reuped about six months ago. I figure I'll be here until they turn the lights out. Sheridan: That explains why the letter came back. "So... the Rangers can't find someone unless they're at their home address or place of work?" Sheridan: What was that you said about hearing them? Zack: It's this place. "It causes auditory hallucinations." [Zack walks with an exaggerated limp] [sing]"Go greased lightning, you're limping down the center aisle..." "The complete lack of outward signs of aging threw me for a second but now that I see Zack's got an inexplicable limp, well, that brings it all into focus." [Zack launches into a long monologue] "How high does one have to be to appreciate this?" "Very." Zack: Where ya heading? Sheridan: The Corianas system. Where we won the Shadow War. "As I remember the Shadows left for the rim out of boredom." Sheridan: Computer, set course. Computer: Destination? "That computer sounds like a gay homosexual." Sheridan: Turn it all off, it's too damn much noise. [Everything shuts off] Sheridan: Better. "Hmmm. Yes. Noise without sound, shape without substance. Brains without purpose." Lorien: Who are you? "A fan." Lorien: What do you want? "Quality." Lorien: Why are you here? "To be entertained." Lorien: Where are you going? "Sunnydale." Lorien: Did you think we had forgotten you? "Well you didn't call or write for 21 years..." Sheridan: There's so much I still don't understand. Lorien: As it should be. "Obedience, not understanding, is required." Sheridan: Can I come back? Lorien: No. This journey is ended, a new one begins. "To die being a great adventure and all." [Bright light shines in through front window] Sheridan: Well, look at that. The sun's coming up. "It's good to see he died as he lived: confused and slow-witted." [Bright light shines out through front windows] "He explodiated!" "I think it only fair warning that old people are highly combustible." Ivanova: An expedition to Corianas space found Sheridan's ship a few days later. But they never found him. All the airlocks were sealed but there was no trace of him inside. "Not that there's anything even remotely mysterious about that." Ivanova: Some of the Minbari believe he'll comeback some day... "Bringing toys to all the good little boys and girls." "But then, some Minbari still believe that their planet rests on the back of a giant turtle..." Ivanova: ...but I never saw him again in my lifetime. [as Ivanova]"...as I write this on my deathbed." [JMS turns out the lights] "How she lived. How she shone. But how soon the lights were gone." [The station goes KABLOOEY] "The ole' Straczynski Symbolism Sledgehammer strikes again." "I'm sure this would be a deeply emotional moment if it made an iota of sense." Ivanova: Babylon 5 was the last of the Babylon stations "And for that we shall be eternally grateful." [Ivanova's decked out in Ranger garb] "Go go Ivanova Ranger, you mighty morphin' gray haired Ranger.." Ivanova: As for Delenn, every morning for as long as she lived, Delenn got up before dawn and watched the sun come up.. "And then one morning it refused to come up until that strange old woman stopped staring. Even the best of us get performance anxiety." P&SC ...and that, friends, is the game
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