The FAQ for

(Cronan Thompson)

1. What is South Park?

If I have to tell you you'll never get it.

2. Is it offensive?

Fuck Yah.

3. Should I post here if I find it offensive?

Yes. This newsgroup would quickly die out if all the people here actually liked the show. We need people who have had anal probes lodged firmly in their rectums to offer their misguided viewpoints.

4. What exactly is a Cheesy Poof?

Well, you know. You'll just be sitting there eating your choclate chicken pot pie and a cheesy poof will just crawl up your ass and start singing about Pig and Elephant DNA and you'll tell, "HEY CHEESY POOF STOP SINGING TO MY ANUS!"

5. Is Mr. Garrison Gay?

No. He just talks that way to get chicks.

6. How many asses does Kathy Lee have?

Unknown as of this FAQ's writing.

7. Does Eric Cartman taste better with mayonnaise or cranberry sauce

Spermicidal Jelly.

8. Is mankind a projection of a greater energy on a higher plane embodied in today's religious concepts of good, evil and god or are we nothing more than stuff on a rock?


9. Is crushing shame normal after watching South Park?

Yes. Especially if you repeatedly dip your testicles in a vodka and mustard mixture.

10. Am I fat or just big boned?

You have remarkably big bones in your stomach and ass.

11. What stars have appeared on South Park?

George Clooney
Patrick Duffey
Elton John
Brian Boitano
Mr. Hanky
David Caruso
The Five Assed Monkey
Jay Leno
Marlon Brando
Big Gay Al (as protrayed by Jesse Helms)

12. Are fecalphilliacs welcome on this newsgroup?

Only those that are willing to share.

13. Killing old people: is it wrong?

Only if done in moderation.

14. If South Park were an animal which animal would it be?


15. Is South Park appropriate for young children?

No. Young children should be sheltered and not told of the harsh realities that will confront them upon their coming of age. The
contributions they could have made, judging from their parentage, was limited anyway.

16. I met someone who doesn't like South Park. What should I do?

Use rusted forceps from an illegal abortion clinic in Ireland to flay the skin off of their ring finger while singing the theme from "Sex, Norwegian Style" into a microtape recorder nicknamed Frank.

17. What will that accomplish?

I dunno but it sounds like fun, don't it?

18. Can I "have myself a time," without going down to South Park?

Yes. Masturbating on heroine is the reccomended method.

19. What is Kenny saying at the opening of South Park?

It's a secret.

About this FAQ's Maintainer:

1. Who are you?

Plain and Simple Cronan.

2. Are you God?

No. I am *a* god, not *the* god. The god is a fat, black, lesbian, midget named Delilah who currently resides Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

3. How did you get so smart?

Tweren't Nothing.

4. Why have you graced us with your presence?

I have deemed you worthy.

Return to Online Tribute to Cronan Thompson.