When the Borg Encounter Voyager...

(Cronan Thompson)

Here is the script:

Paris: We have encountered what would appear to be a Borg vessel.

Tuvok: We must raise sheild and run the hell away.

Kim: They got a weapon that fires stuff. Its cool. huh huh

Janeway: NOOOOOOOO. We will not run we will run head on into them.

Chakotay: Are you daft woman?

Janeway: YES. Mr. Tuvok open fire. Ram them with one of our shuttles.

Tuvok: Captain, now would seem a good time to pioint out that I want my mommy.

Janeway: I will be your mommy...after you fire the phasers and the torpedeos.

Kim: They just did something and it like hurt our sheilds and stuff. Shields rule

Tuvok: Opening fire.

Paris: Intiating evasive manuevers. the Borg are matching us captain.

Tuvok: Mommy!!!!!

Chakotay: Can we do something incredibly stupid that shouldn't work but probably will?

Janeway: Sure, why not. It worked last week. Kim, Destroy them with our gravitron inverting emiter relay thingie.

Kim: Those suck...

Janeway: Oooooookaaaaaaay. Paris hail the Borg.....

Paris: Alrighty then.... Borg on recieving and returning hail....

Tuvok: I wonder why the Borg act so differently. When they attacked the tactically superior Enterpise they simply overwhelmed them.

Chakotay: Maybe they want the secret to the captains hair.

Tuvok: Doubtful.

Paris: Onscreen.

Janeway: I am Captain Jean Luc Sisko of the Federation Starship Bill. May I kill you painfully?

Borg: Nah, we just wanted to ask y'all directions to the Beta Quad. We done heard tell they got all kinds of neato freakazoids over in them there parts.

Kim: Gorn kick ass. Tholians rule huh huh huh.....

Janeway: I will give you directions if you will give me transwarp tech.

Borg: How about we take your ship, assimilate your crew, and make your hair into antimatter injector?

Tuvok: Comensing transmission of astronavigation files.

Janeway: Stop Tuvok...

Tuvok: I wanna live damn it.

Chakotay: I wanna live in my hallucinations. Where the hell is that animal spirit?

Borg: We gotta go now. Y'all have one of those things.

[Borg open up a transwarp conduit and disappear]

Janeway: Folllow them Paris.

Paris: A bunch of Ferengi have taken over engineering are demanding we give them Gold Pressed Latinum.

Janeway: Well we might as well not go home now. Lets start back towards the Federation.....

Kim: The Feds kick ass.

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