A Plain and Simple Series, #11

Clinton is a Betazoid

(Cronan Thompson)


        I have undeniable proof that Billy Bo Bob
Clinton is a Betazoid sent to convert Earth into a
touchy feely loving world where no one kills anyone. My
life is endangered just by my posting this, so if I
should fail to post again let the truth be known.

1. He can feel your pain and yet does absolutely
nothing about it.
2. Using bullshit PC/Fruedian terms he has managed to
convince a large segment of the population that he is
the lesser of two evils. Well it was Troi/Yar and
3. From what we know of his days as governer of
Arkansas he enjoys walking around naked in front of
4. He, like Troi, manages to get away with saying
absurd things because he so boring no notices.
5. He spent the first 4 years sitting in the background
eating choclate. In his final four years he tries to
make up for lost time by instituting policies that run
in the exact opposite direction of everything said in
the first four.
6. He is pro-family but sleeps with all comers.
7. Enjoys sex with Klingons.
8. Appears to interested in the electorate but is
really there to see how much sex he can have without
getting caught.
9. Spend fifteen minutes telling you whats wrong but
has no solution. Then proceeds to take another fifteen
to babble about exactly why he doesn't have a solution.
10. Has hair that defies gravity.

        Let's all use spank Billy Boy before he
succeeds. Liberal/Betazoid scum needs to be kept in
check. Earth cannot become a dumping ground for the
galaxy's trash. Join in a a letter writing campaign to
1600 Pennsylvannia Ave.

Return to the Cochrane Collection.

Return to the Online Tribute to Cronan Thompson.