A Plain and Simple Series, #12

An Open Letter to Paramount

(Cronan Thompson)


An Open Letter to Paramount
(If other nutcases can write one why not I?)

Dear Corporate Oppresors

        As a loyal trekker I must insist upon a public
apology for the smut in your recent release entitled:
_Star Trek: First Contact_. This movie bordered on the
pornographic throughout. Picard's "feeling" the
predominantly male Borg. The Borg Queen's leather
fetish. The Borg walking as though they have perpetual
erections. Several penis related jokes were obvious in
this movie. Riker's description of the Defiant was an
all but highlighted example of Worf's penis(tough and
        Another point should made of the use of flesh
in this film. None of the women were sufficently
covered. All women should wear black dresses no more
than one inch above the ankle with faces covered. I am
sure that many of your perverted audience found this
titilating but it is not appropriate. My wife was
shocked and dismayed by the vagrant use of flesh in
this movie. She did have minor problems seeing past the
He-Man bedsheet she wears on her head at all times but
the little she did see was more than enough. The female
body is not a thing of beauty to be looked upon with
awe and respect. It should be covered and concealed as
much as possible. What if the children of this country
grew up with ideas that sex is somehow normal when
between two consenting adults?

        Please send apology to this Address:
        Mr. John Smith
        on a street you will never find
         somewhere in the USA

27. Guns don't kill people,
people do. But it is the
guns that put the little
holes in people.
Capt. Cronan Thompson

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