A Plain and Simple Series, #20

Review of DS9 "Ties of Blood and Water"

(Cronan Thompson)

Or: DS9 receives a stay of execution from your friendly
neighborhood Cronan

        I raised an axe today. This was an adze of most
awe inspiring ugliness. It was a tool that may very
well have wrenched all that I hold dear from my being.
An axe whose very hefting cost me a part of whatever
might have been left of my soul. This was an
executioner's axe that I beheld lodged within my own
two fists. I had no desire to raise high this murderous
a weapon. Oh no. But when I focused my attentions on
"Ties of Blood and Water" I anticipated something
more.... So much *more*.
        In case you have not perused my comments on the
fine examples of suicide inducing materials ("A Simple
Investigation" and "Business as Usual") that preceeded
this *crap* (why mince words?) allow me to say that
they were woefully optimisitc. I thought, in spite of
what Norman insisted, that they were the lowest of the
low. No matter how distressingly inadequate "Ties of
Blood and Water" was I could overlook the problems,
both major and minor, upon recalling its predecessors,
or so I thought in my precious naivete. I wrangled with
my common sense, raged against my intellect all to no
avail. I had come to the edge and nearly convinced
myself that what once was hailed by none other than
myself as "the greatest of the modern Treks" could sink
no lower. And then, be it fate, a curse or both I
saw.... this. This most depressing example of what true
incompetence supported by inestimable myopia transfused
with a sheer lack of concern have subverted whatever
lingered of Ds9's respectablity, which, I will grant
you, was not much after the unholy Berman purges.
        DS9 and its hacks have engaged in murder most
foul. They have systematically assassinated, butchered
and smothered every and any thing that ever remotely
resembled a multifaceted character. DS9 was never and,
in point of fact, could never be about exploration as
TOS, TNG or even Voyager were and are. Characters were
its focus for better or for worse. For a good bit, the
later portion of the third and most of the fourth
seasons, DS9 strayed from this true path which its own
format had written in stone but now, for most of the
fifth, it has returned to that preordained route.
Unfortunately, in coming back, it has proven the adage
you can't go home again. In misguided and shortsighted
attempts to broaden the characters they have dimished
all that was built in previous years. Do not think that
I am merely critizing character developemnts I do not
like for this is most certainly not the case. Over the
seasons many *real* character developments have come
and gone that I thought unnessecary or contradictory.
        In this little episode they murdered and raped
Kira by reducing her to blubbering, backpeddling, fool.
They have in essence taken away the last female ST
character whom I am comfortable advising my sister to
emulate. This would not have effected me so deeply,
other characters have disappointed me before, if it had
not been for for the recent double murder of Quark and
Odo and that immediatly after the butchering of Bashir!
Quark has proven once and for all that he is most
certainly a philathropist over better heart than
myself. The finality of his greed being reconstituted
into mushy Federation-esque values has taken away all
that made him Quark. At least when his holding were
ceased by the Ferengi Commerce society he was exhbiting
a certain cowardice but with this shinning example of
pure an unfettered conscientiousness, *I* would put out
Sol for 10,000,000 bars of GPL, I sadly declare him
dead as source of interest. Odo and Bashir's murder
have been discussed at great length so I will refrain
from repeating what has already been said. Apparently
in anticipation of the Heaven's Gate suicides the
writers have decided to forestall any other followings
with plans to use the same liturgy by disuading all
scifi fans to stop watching now. There plan is
succeeding in spades.
        But wait there is good news. In my own writings
I have learned exactly what NOT to do by watching DS9.
I have learned key lessons about how to and how not to
support a character. I have learned not to tie up loose
ends with safety pins.. Wise men profit more from fools
than fools from wise men; for the wise men shun the
mistakes of fools, but fools do not imitate the
successes of the wise, Cato the Elder. Because of this
I have given DS9 something I was not willing to give
Voyager: a stay of execution. I will give it one more
month. Perhaps that is too generous but I do look
forward to the episodes previewed and there being a
drought of anything worth watching on TV at the moment
I have very few options..
        Comments are welcomed with open ears.

Captain Cronan Thompson
I have, by being an asshole, done more for world peace than anyone
else ever has. Thanks to me the Neo-Nazis, Klu Klux Klan, Black
Panthers and Nation of Islam have all put aside their disagreements
in order to hunt me down and hang me up by my short and curlies.

Return to the Cochrane Collection.

Return to the Online Tribute to Cronan Thompson.