A Plain and Simple Series, #27

The four captains

(Cronan Thompson)


        All 4 capts. are standing around in the middle
of a time space anomaly and chatting about their
various adventures when the subject of women comes up.
        "Well I had lots of 'em but they always died on
me," says Kirk.
        "I had this one but a trans-galactic being with
powers beyond your comprehension arrived and I never
saw her again," says Picard, thinking of Vash.
        "Fried her did he?" says Kirk nonchalantly.
        "No she went willingly." says Picard with
obvious shame.
        "You deserve it you murdering bastard," shouts
Sisko, after calming down he says "I am sorry. I don't
know what came over me...."
        "That whole Borg thing? I here some people got
shot at and stuff.... I was under a desk looking for
some paper clips when they attacked. I bumped my head.
Boy did that smart." says Janeway.
        "How in all hell did you get a ship? How in all
hell did you become a captain?" says Kirk. "And what
the hell is a Borg? Sounds like a Klingon with a knife
in his throat." he adds.
        "That kind of joke is inappropriate sir. Please
take it back or else." says Janeway, "Besides I got my
job the old fashioned way: I slept with an admiral."
        "Which one?" asks Sisko with an intensely
curious look on his face.
        "Nacheyev," she says and turns back to face
Kirk, "If you don't take it back I'll beat you in the
head till its soft."
        "Ewwwwwww Nacheyev is ugly. And she always
smells funny too." says Picard.
        "She? SHE? You are one of those lesbos aren't
yah?" says Kirk, barely stifiling a giggle.
        "Alright thats it," says Janeway. Janeway does
a triple spinning back birdkick and knocks his head off
his shoulders.
        "Wait lets negotiate!!!!" Picard screams like a
girl just as Janeways boot connects.
        "Oh shut up."says Sisko in the the same moment
as the words leave his lips a phaser appears in his
hand and he shoots him and Janeway dead who was
shuffling through Kirks pockets for stuff to take back
to Voyager. "Well I've done my good deed for the
day,"says Sisko while putting away the small phaser,
"Maybe I should go blow something up. That would be
cool huh huh huh. Explosions rule."

written by Capt. Thompson

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