A Plain and Simple Series, #8

When the Borg Encounter Voyager....

(Cronan Thompson)


When the Borg encounter Voyager...
by Capt. Cronan Thompson

Paris: We have encountered what would appear to be a
Borg vessel
Tuvok: We must raise sheild and run the hell away
Kim: They got a weapon that fires stuff. Its cool. huh
Janeway: NOOOOOOOO. We will not run we will run head on
into them.
Chakotay: Are you daft woman?
Janeway: YES. Mr. Tuvok openfire. Ram them with one of
our shuttles.
Tuvok: Captain, now would seem a good time to pioint
out that I want my mommy.
Janeway: I will be your mommy...after you fire the
phasers and the torpedeos
Kim: They just did something and it like hurt our
sheilds and stuff. Shields rule
Tuvok: Opening fire.
Paris: Intiating evasive manuevers. the Borg are
matching us captain.
Tuvok: Mommy!!!!!
Chakotay: Can we do something incredibly stupid that
shouldn't work but probably will?
Janeway: Sure, why not. It worked last week. Kim
Destroy them with our gravitron inverting emiter relay
Kim: Those suck
Janeway: Oooooookaaaaaaay. Paris hail the Borg.....
Paris: Alrighty then.... Borg on recieving and
returning hail....
Tuvok: I wonder why the Borg act so differently. When
they attacked the tactically superior Enterpise they
simply overwhelmed them.
Chakotay: Maybe they want the secret to the captains
Tuvok: Doubtful.
Paris: Onscreen.
Janeway: I am Captain Jean Luc Sisko of the Federation
Starship Bill. May I kill you painfully?
Borg: Nah we just wanted to ask y'all directions to the
Beta Quad. We done heard tell they got all kinds of
neato freakazoids over in them there parts.
Kim: Gorn kick ass. Tholians rule huh huh huh.....
Janeway: I will give you directions if you will give me
transwarp tech.
Borg: How about we take your ship, assimilate your
crew, and make your hair into an antimatter injector?
Tuvok: Comensing transmission of astronavigation files.
Janeway: Stop Tuvok...
Tuvok: I wanna live damn it.
Chakotay: I wanna live in my hallucinations. Where the
hell is that animal spirit?
Borg: We gotta go now. Y'all have one of those things.
[Borg openup a transwarp conduit and disappear]
Janeway: Follow them Paris.
Paris: A bunch of Ferengi have taken over engineering
are demanding we give them Goldpressed Latinum.
Janeway: Well we might as well go home now. Lets start
back towards the Federation.....
Kim: The Feds kick ass.

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