Or: She who is responsible for this whole mess.

Photo taken approx. 120,000 B.C.

"My god is a bitch on wheels." -Cronan Thompson

Delilah is the Duct Tape Class God who is credited with the creation of Earth. For much of history, She assumed the appearance seen in the above photograph: an elderly, bearded white gentleman. Currently, however, She appears as a fat, black, lesbian midget who often wears leather. She lives in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she spends much of her time lamenting her creation.

The Christian faith worships Delilah, but knows very little about her. In fact, they think she's still a man, the deluded fools. THE TRUE RELIGION, however, was formed by General Purpose Gods who know Delilah personally. We have decided to inform the world of Delilah's true nature.

Contrary to popular belief, Delilah did not create the Universe. She is not even one of the original Gods. No one is certain how the Gods originally came to exist, but it is generally accepted that the Universe predates Them. The early Gods did, however, lay out the fundamental principles of the modern Universe.

Unlike the history of the Earth itself, Delilah's history is rather dull. This is due to the fact that, like most Duct Tape Class Gods, She tends to sleep for centuries at a time. However, the most important events of Her life are outlined as follows:

Delilah has not been heard from since Norman's capture. It is believed that she is napping again, and will remain so for years, perhaps centuries.

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